ANOTHER TELEMARKETING EXPERIENCE

So, I'm in the car watching two of kelli's kids while they sleep and while she runs into the scouting office in south Ogden when this call comes in from a collector. He wants to know when I am going to pay some bill that I have never heard about in my whole life and he starts in as soon as I answer. As he keeps going I can tell his is from New Jersey-a real dink. Well I start talking back to him in my "Chinese man on cocain" voice. My voice gets louder and higher as I talk like this, "How you get maw numbaw? What you call me? How you talk to me like some A.. Ho..? You some kind of Jack A..?" "I wip yo howrt out and eat it. I eat it all. I pull off yo ahm and beat yo wit it." "Yo dumb bawhsard." Well I don't know where the accent came from, maybe some ancestor that is Chinese was helping me but it was incredible. The kids started to wake up as I was swearing and talking so loud in this funny Chinese voice. The guy got this phrase out as that's all I would let him say as I was doing all the yelling, "Are you drunk Mr. Carver? Did you get hit on the head?" Then I heard him say to someone in the background, "This F'n guy's nutty."

I could hardly keep in my "Chinese Man on Cocain" voice going as I was laughing so hard. I would love to let you hear it but I would have to get special clearance from the Stake President to do as I used every swear word and knew and some I hadn't learned yet. Needless to say, he hung up and I never heard from him again.