Festive things to do at this time of year

There are a lot of fun things to do at Christmas time. Let's all add yours to mine and then email it to a 1,000 others and your fortune will change and Bill Gates will send you a personal check and I'll be an attorney by then. Here's one of my favorite things to do at this time of year. Now don't break the chain or you will get something stuck. Dave C. One thing I like to do at Christmas time is to walk toward the Salvation Army guy ringing the bell like I'm going to put money in and get right up to the red bucket and then shy away. They get their hopes up and then they say under their breath, that "dumb ass" It's dang funny. dc

Pinky Finger Tray Experiment

I experimented with the Pinky Finger Tray (PFT) twice in the last two days and both times it turned out exactly like I predicted-no tarter sauce on my black shirt or my black pants. I risked it all wearing black but I wanted a good experiment. There was an added incident that happened however. As I was driving and eating my fishwich with my PFT a guy in the car next to me was trying to get my attention but I couldn't understand him. I kept shrugging my shoulders and mouthing the words, "What are you saying? I don't understand you." So I rolled my window down and he rolled his and he yelled, "Smart ass." I took that as a compiment as it was better than, "Dumb ass. " Anyway. It worked like a charm and I recommend it for people on the go or for a "man in motion" like myself.

Now Vicki wanted me to invent a method of eating a taco that isn't messy. Well I took Grandma, who is blind and mostly deaf to get a taco. She had an interesting method of eating them. She just tore it apart and picked whatever she could up with her fingers and dipped it in my salsa that I was using to eat my chips. I said, "Excuse me, but is my salsa getting on your taco?" She said, "No, it's taco sauce." Anyway, Vicki I have some work to do on this one as it's going to be a "bitch" to solve. I don't think grandma's method would work using only one hand and I think you have to be able to "see" to eat those things. More to follow. dc

KNow your Audience Observation/Invention

So we play this incredible job at Smith Optics Friday-two jobs, for day and swing shift-and we learn a Santana song to meet the needs of the employees we feel will be there. The song is Oya Coma Va (or something like that.) We start it and I look out over the audience and see the faces of a hundred orientals with a look on their faces that says, "What dumb A** song is that?" They came up after and said, "We love you music. You are so good. Can you play anything we know?" Well, all I can say is, "Know your audience" or you'll look like a dumb a**.

New Observation

This is like an invention because it's a new observation. Have you ever noticed that for every situation you have there is also a dumb ass trying to give you advice? The trick is to know who the dumb ass is. It's usually the one with tarter sauce on his shirt. (See Pinky Finger Tray Post below) dc

Dark Horse is Bustin' Free

Dark Horse is chargin' around the corral and is ready to bust down the fences and run free into the west, leavin' a cloud of dust behind them. They'll be snortin' steam from their nostrils and sweat will be soakin' their hide. Sparks will be a crackelin' from their hooves as the throw their heads into the setting sun. I sure hope Jamie Hawkes is ready for this show at the ward Christmas party tonight!

Pinky Finger Tray

This is a cool idea for people on the go. How do you eat a Fishwich without getting the tarter sauce on your pants or shirt while you drive? How do you eat it and drive at the same time and not spill? I took this challenge and here is the result: Take the little box that the pesky critter comes in and open it up so your little pinky finger of your left hand is in the fold when you open it out flat. Now hold the fishwich or sea burger in the remaining fingers of that same hand holding the sandwich inside the box. Now just eat away and the tarter sauce will spill into the box and not on your shirt and you won't look like a dumb ass eating a sandwich driving down the road. This is a great and practical invention for the modern man on the move. Have fun. Tonic Man

Christmas Tree Storage/Transport System

Well people today I will invent a Christmas Tree Storage and Transportation System for the annual Christmas tree. Don't use this on a real tree and if you ask why turn off your computer and slowly back away as you could be dangerous.
Step 1. Find or create a large plastic covering for the entire tree.
Step 2. Open the bag and place the tree including the stand inside the bag.
Step 3. Bring the bag up around the tree and tie if off at the top. You can see why you need a large bag. They sell them at Target, etc.
Step 3. Get at large foldable bab big enough to place the base of the tree inside. I got mine at Walmart as they were made of green cheap plastic.
Step 4. Use masking tape or similar to wind around the tree and hold the plasici quite tight against the tree.
Step 5. Use small rope or heavy twine to make a loop at the top and tie it off then bring the rope down toward the bag securing the base and tie it all together. When you are done you will have a rope handle that is secured at the top and the bottom for one-man easy transporting and also storing. Works like a charm. Evidently a charm works pretty good.

Email conversation between dog handler (me) and dog trainer (Jamee Wheelwright)



carverdavidl@aol.com wrote:
Jamee, Sorry I had to run prior to attaching the pic of the dog we call affectionately as "brown dog." The three year old named her. The photos were taken November 2nd and she has grown half again this big. dc

-----Original Message-----From: Jamee at Wag-N-Train <wag_n_train@yahoo.com>
To: carverdavidl@aol.comSent: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 8:20 amSubject: Re: OHS 20 yr Class of '68 Photos
Oh....she IS a beauty!! Now let's see...Brown Dog...such a blase' name for such a beautiful girl...In French...brown down would be...chien marronIn Spanish...perro marrónIn German...brauner Hund (eeewww)In Portugese...cão marromIn Russian....коричневая собака (ROTFLMAO) Yeah...try calling out THAT name to get her to come to you!!!I vote for the French version Chien...or a shortened version or Marron - Mara...or gee...just Roxy...as the picture caption says.This from a girl who named her cat Yikes! (including the excclamation point) *sigh*Have fun

Jamee

carverdavidl@aol.com wrote:
I am laughing my head off at you naming your cat, Yikes! That's dang funny. Those are great international names. Thank you for those suggestions. I guess "Brown Dog" is a little blah. How do you say that French one? Chow mein? Isn't that sorta oriental-like Chinese or Japanese? Wouldn’t that make the dog mean as she would be having to fight all the other dogs who were laughing at a dog whose name is a Japanese dinner? Also, wouldn’t that confuse her as she might be thinking you are saying what’s for dinner or something? Like every time she hears her name called she might think, “Oh, not again! We just had it and I don’t like it.” How do you know all those languages anyway? Is it because you haven't had electricity for a while and so you learned them instead of watching "American Idol" or "You say you can dance?"
I think you would pronounce the French name "Shee-en" I guess. What do I know? I took French at Washington Jr. High, but the only French sentence I can remember is "Where is the library?" I guess if I was lost in France (or parts of Canada), if I could get to a library, I could find out all I needed to know to get un-lost.I got the names by going to a free online translation site and typing in "brown dog". I use that sometimes to come up with names of the rescue dogs. After so many years, it gets hard coming up with something original. You can only name so many dogs Buster or Lady.Chow Mein would work, too. (LOL)Hey...even without electricity we watched TV. We had a 12-volt TV and a couple of car batteries hooked up to the generator. But you could only watch for so long before the battery went dead. And it had to be black and white. Color just drained it too dang fast. And if the battery went dead, then we'd have to fire up the generator to recharge the batteries. Oh, the things we did.....I LOVE my power!!!

Here is the formula for Dave's Tonic Elixir

1 large glass of distilled water
Juice from 1/2 a lemon
1 tablespoon of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
1/3 Teaspoon of Concentrace minerals from Great Salt Lake
Stevia to sweeten to taste

Stir thoroughly

Drink first thing in the morning prior to having anything to eat at all
Drink another glass about 11:00
Drink another one about 3:00

This will take your appetite away. It is a cleanser so be careful. You may need to ease into the amount you take.

This is a very acid drink but it leaves an alkaline ash.
You'll feel like a million bucks.
Blood sugar will be leveled-no spikes.
Stomach will feel really good.
Skin will become shiny-really improves your skin.
Medicines will act much more effectively.
Cholesterol will be lowered.
Blood pressure will be lowered.
You won't want to drink a coke, eat a lot of sugary things or eat breads.
Be sure to exercise and take fish oil as a supplement.

Read up on an alkaline diet vs. an acid one.

INvention for today 11/11/08

I'm thinking of a little generator that would store up energy as the animal walked around. For example for a dog, when he got home you could plug him in and a little light would come on that would light up the area he travels. If he got up to pee on the corner of your couch in the night you would be able to hit him with a shoe because of the little light he had tied to his head. Cool idea, huh? I call it the dog catcher light. dc

Adding events to the calendar

Does anybody know how to add an event on this stupid calendar?

Garden tools invention

Problem: keeping your shovels etc in a place that is easy to retreive them.Invention: This is an easy one. The invention takes a leaf from a golf bag. I'll bet some of you already know what I am going to say. Just get some large PVC pipe, cut it to fit inside and pack it together in a 50 gallon drum using wire to hold them straight and the put the implements in handles first and there you go.Invention names; Davie's handy tool caddies

Inventions and Elixirs, The Beginning

I always wanted to find a website that had inventions and elixirs on it and when I searched I could never find one. Well, I have always wanted one since yesterday when Kelli made this site for me. I love to invent and sometimes I'll spend more time inventin' than fixing the project that I want to fix with an invention. I want to invent 3 inventions a day. I'll put them on this Blog if I can remember them long enough to post them. I'll talk about Elixirs later as now I'm "inventin'." You as me a question that needs an answer and I'll invent something if there isn't an answer already. Now if you're slow at running into a problem then I'll invent something anyway until the problem comes up. Here goes.............

Tonic Man!!

Tonic Man is on the Web. Inventions and Elixirs coming to you soon!!!