TIMESHARE, my BUTT. It was TIME TAker

Kelli inspired me to write of my experience at the timeshare place in Florida. Her husband Chad got us a free day at this place and all we had to do is listen to a 20 min spiel on their program-or so they say. We arrived late and they said we could come down to the lobby anytime to hear the "presentation." When we got there the guy was a real as... hol... saying if we didn't hurry up we couldn't get the free night and it would cost $175. So we went with them to the presentation place as we walked in we saw a room full of people and none of them were talking but all were looking down at the floor-that's a red flag I learned later. I got in line to give my information to the clerk and stood next to this very nice old guy doing the same thing when all of a sudden this lady came bursting out of the door to the back office yelling at the top of her lungs saying stuff like. "These Go# \da*m$^# Bas&$#s lie @$ to you. They say it will only take 20 minutes and we've been here for 2 hours and they won't let you got, the sons of B*%$#@!)*s! The guy next to me says, "Oh, dear. I certainly hope not." in the kindest voice. This was a huge red flag. We went into this big room with very loud music playing where we sat at a table and then met a nice young lady who said,
she came back just for us from her vacation day because she was so impressed with our information. She must have liked our names as that's all the info we had given them so far.
She told us a little about the timeshare and how her family had a timeshare and that her little brother had died and all her memories were of their vacations at the timeshare. I started crying at hearing this but Linda just sat there like a "bump on a log" with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I learned later that it was an act she was putting on. That story didn't seem to change Linda so the lady told of when her mother died while they were just coming back from their timeshare and they were happy they had that time together especially when her mother reached out her hand from the bloody car crash and said in broken voice, "promise me you'll never sell the condo." She then collapsed into a coma and
the paramedics said how much they enjoyed their condos. The sales lady just kept telling sad and yet kinda exciting stories and I kept crying and Linda just kept sitting there. After two hours and three times to the bathroom and four bowls of popcorn and 6 free cokes, I think we're done. We kept telling the lady that I get sick flying on planes-I don't, but Linda said I did, so I went along with it thinking there must be a reason for not wanting to travel any where. We stand up and the lady says follow me and we went out back and I see an golf cart and I find out that we are going to tour the facility. Holy, snikes! What happened to being done!? We get into the golf cart and look a four different condos. They actually looked pretty nice to me and I'm thinking we should get one but Linda is still looking down and is kinda grey in the face so I don't push it. We are then handed off to another guy who starts the same bull sh.... story again! I think that this is incredible. "What are the chances that two different people have brothers and mothers that die after they stay in a condo?" This timeshare owning sounds just too dangerous to me. I start to voice my concern but Linda kicks my foot just as I'm starting to talk so I don't. Then we're handed off to another guy and buy this time the entire room if empty-mind you there were at least 30 people there when we started. The lights are turned off and our car is the only one in the parking lot. We now have been there over 4 hours-no sh...t-4 hours. They say the same dam... things to us-the best being, "What do we have to do to have you sign today?" I think, blow your head off would be good or let me smash your hand in the door for a starter. Linda still hasn't changed her posture. Over 4 hours and she still looks exactly the same. They say, OK you win let's take you to the office and get your paperwork. I think, Yes!. We go into an office where the "hammer" is and we sit down. This cute little gal comes in and says, "What do we have to do to have you sign to day?" That does it! I've gone over the edge. I reach up to take my hat off and I catch my glasses and pull everything off at the same time and they fall all over the place like some dumb as.... old guy triping over himself, I say, "Good L... lady we've been here almost 5 hours, the carlot is empty, the room is empty there is no one left. We just want to get the hell outta here! My face is all red, Linda now has changed her attitude. She thinks I'm going to deck this girl. I should have. Let's just say Linda won because she only said, 5 words the whole time-We don't like to travel. An unforgetable experience.