The Day I almost died by dave carver-recently

So the other day I'm driving around the dam heading to town and I see a white thing that looks like an iceberg just off the wind surfer's point. I say to myself, "What the hell is that?" I want to get a closer look so I turn off the road to check it out. As soon as I start to turn I see a car in front of me and there are a lot of cars behind me. So I think to myself, "What would Michelle Christy do in this situation?" She would act like she was in a movie and just keep going and pull off the road going 50 miles an hour. That's great for Michelle, but for me, I think, I'll play like I do this all the time and just go flying off the road like some dumb ass. When the dust and rocks settle I play like I'm looking at what turns out to be 40 Pelicans in a mass just sitting there waiting for me to crash through the guard rail and fly down the embankment and settle into a watery grave. Lucky for me there wasn't anyone that I knew when I pulled my little stunt. Michelle doesn't have to worry about competition from me.