Dave's Tonic Elixirs and Inventions

If I was going to be a HoBo I would never have a stupid doG

2011-05-15T16:33:00.004-06:00

I saw a girl hobo down by the tracks this afternoon so I stopped and shared my half-eaten Twinkie with her and talked about how she liked smelling like pee. She said she couldn't tell. Anyway you can always tell a new hobo because: 1. they haven't tied a red bandanna on their dog yet and 2. they act all peppie.

I asked her about how she liked her dog and she said he was a real pain in the ass. I said why don't you let him run free like a real hobo dog so she let him go and he ran away. She called and called but he never came back. She had a tear form in her eye but I said, Just as well. She said she wanted to repay me for my kindness and I said it would be a buck-fifty. She asked if I had change and I said no ( I really did) but that I would have to owe her. So I kept the $2 because I started thinking about it and $1.50 wasn't enough. So it worked out. I saw her dog running in the bushes as she was walking away but I didn't say anything because I was doing her a favor.

This is the Schedule for Dave's BigFoot Show I and II in 2011

2011-01-10T19:15:00.004-07:00

August 11th at the Weber County Fair Dave's BigFoot Show I-The Re-visitation. Even if you saw the first show there will be enough additions that you won't want to miss this one. This First Show prepares you to see

Dave's BigFoot Show II in Ogden Valley on September 3rd, That's the Saturday of Labor Day weekend.
They are two different shows!!

Plus

The Family BigFoot Encounter Expeditions held on the west hills of Ogden Valley where you will be able to bring the whole family to take real photgraphs of fake BigFoots in their natural habitat. This experience will prepare you for the real thing if sometime in your future you are fortunate enough to meet one face to face or see one in the wild.

Then after a day of being around and hearing all about the creature known as BigFoot you can run the BigFoot MidNight Blood Run. This 10k starts at 10:00pm at night and runs by the light of the moon. Bring a good headlamp and a whole lot of courage as you'll need it. Staged actors will be along the route. This will be a once in a lifetime experience.

This annual event will be one of a kind. Don't miss out on all the fun.

Go to: BigFoot USA for more details.

The New Dave's BigFootShow......................

2010-07-01T07:17:00.005-06:00

Monday, July 26, 2010

Texas Pride, BBQ, Huntsville, UT

Local People sharing Local unexplained Experiences. These are not campfire stories. They are real events in the lives of real people. We aren't trying to prove or disprove the existence of a BigFoot type creature but we are saying it's not a man in a suit.

Dinner and the Music of Dark Horse begins at 5:00pm, Show starts at 6-9pm. Bring your own chair (no lounges Please) come early and stake out your seat. Dinner will be served throughout the show.

Tickets on sale now at Texas Pride BBQ in Huntsville or from the Ticket Kid or call me at 1-801-791-0075 or email at CarverDavidL@aol.com. See ya there, See ya Scared!

THIS IS THE SOMETHIN' BIG THAT IS COMIN'---mONDAY jULY 26, DAVE'S BIGFOOT SHOW AT TEXAS PRIDE, HUNTSVILLE

2010-06-19T08:08:00.003-06:00

The BIG SOMTHIN' IS GOING TO BE REVEALED AT THIS TIME: On Monday July 26, Texas Pride BBQ and Davieboy Carver present DAVE'S BIGFOOT SHOW. (click)

In the old Huntsville Town Square there will be three hours of local people telling their experiences of the unexplained in the local area. The first event of it's kind in the state of Utah. The number of experiences from around here... is amazing. You won't want to miss this night. Advanced ticket sales will begin monday June 21st. Watch for The TICKET KIDS and at the resturant. Bring your lawn chairs and come ready for a great and scarey time. Follow this link for more info. Hope to see you there and hope to see you scared!!!!!!!!!!1

DARK HORse public CalenDAR summer 2010

2010-06-17T00:29:00.004-06:00

Sat Apr 17 Union Station Ogden 3:00 pm

Sat May 22 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 6:00 pm

Sat Jun 5 Squaw Peak 50 Provo Canyon 3:00 pm

Sat Jun 19 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 6:00 pm

Sat Jul 23 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 6:00 pm

Mon Jul 26 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 5:00 pm

Wed Aug 11 Weber County Fair Fairgrounds 8:30 pm

Sat Aug 21 Skyline Mtn Marathon Eden Park 10:00 am

Sat Aug 28 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 6:00 pm

Fri Sep 10 La Caille Salt Lake City 6:30 pm

Sat Sep 25 Texas Pride BBQ Huntsville 6:00 pm

Sat Oct 30 Up and Over Wolf Mountain 10:00 am

SOMETHING BIG IS COMING-July 26

2010-06-10T22:07:00.003-06:00

YOu're going to want to attend. Monday, Night July 26, Something big, really, really big. Something

hairy and scary big. This is so big as Tara Robertson's kid said, "it scared me right out of my crap!" That's how scary this is going to be.

This will be a family night for the brave. Hosted by Texas Pride, Produced by Davieboy Carver and it's not the Band. They will be there but it's even bigger than Dark Horse and you know how hard that is for me to say. Let's just say it will be on the news stations.

Tickets will go on sale soon. Get READY

The NEW Dark Horse

2010-04-03T11:14:00.005-06:00

"Smoke, on the water...."

If you want to see a fun party I'm working on for the summer, check out this link: Then look at the home page for the same

Next Problem-Voting Your Conscience

2010-03-31T16:58:00.006-06:00

If people want to change to way the present administration is going the only thing we can do is vote for the GOP front runner, no matter who it is. Then a repeal of healthcare bill can be inacted. If people don't like the GOP candidate and they vote for a independent then they are throwing their vote away. They'll be ridin' the wrong horse. Now is the time to hold hands and stick together. The media will give an undo amount of press to an independent because it sells "papers." Just watch what happens as we get closer to election time. We're going to find out just how bad people think the healthcare bill really was. By that time people may have forgotten all about it and just let it go. I hope not.

The real Problem

2010-03-26T12:57:00.001-06:00

The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the presidency. It will be easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to an electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails us. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The republic can survive a Barack Obama. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president.” -- Author Unknown

Dark Horse Saturday Night at Texas Pride. You'Re all invited.

2010-03-18T00:01:00.001-06:00

Grandma quotes

2010-03-10T00:05:00.007-07:00

I stopped in to check on Linda's mother and said, "Grandma, what ya doin'?" She said, "doing all I can and the dumb ones twice." Thats, dang funny.

Grandma is telling me about the daughter of her visiting teacher. The visiting teacher is the nicest person ever and has a daughter that is gifted in ballet (That doesn't look right.) She says, Zina, her name is Gina, has this beautiful daughter, so beautiful and is a ballerina. so beautiful.
six foot seven, blonde with black hair.
I thought just what does that mean? Who could catch her in a dance move. Linda's brother-in-law said, she shouldn't model, she should play for theUtah Jazz.

Woman Jokes- Where they come Phrom

2010-03-04T22:34:00.006-07:00

I wondered where women jokes come from. So I went into a trance and astro-projected my mind into the collective mind of all women to see what was in there. Woha, what the ..... I saw two things:
1. Their jokes begin with "two gals were waiting at the beauty parlor..,,,"
and
2. Everything was organized on 3x5 cards that were placed neatly in little cubby holes in this massive room. Perfect order but no index.

Well, not to worry. The female goes in and closes her eyes and picks one of the cards. She then calls the man to her and says, "This is a new priority in your life. Keep doing what you're doing but do this first." It's stuff like, paint the little yellow dresser stored in the shed grey and you still have to go to church because I said so. Guys, this is really important stuff so pay attention. The idea is for her to get rid of all the cards before you die!

Man Jokes-Their Origin or in other words Where They Come From

2010-03-03T03:49:00.008-07:00

For some reason I couldn't post on here with my iPhone so I had to do it on facebook but I'm putting it here also because I need to add to it:

So I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and I think, "A lot of funny things happen when two guys are walking down a road." I want to know where that road is and who are the two guys. I think they would make a s... load of money if they wrote a book (saying that word at 3:30 in the morning sounds really funny to me.)

DARK Horse SaTuRday Noght-Texas Pride

2010-02-24T05:42:00.002-07:00

Great Family Fun. Ice skating,ribs and music.. See Ya there.

Macho Peacho-No Matter How You Spell It I'm On My Way

2010-02-09T20:54:00.009-07:00

I just watched a special on Machu Picchu in Peru. It was probably not a city at all but a vacation spot of the king.

It was inhabited for only 100 years.

However there are many unanswered questions like: How did they get those huge rocks up there and how did they cut them without the use of metal or the wheel?

Space aliens is the only answer.

There Is No Place That God Does Not Exist-The Void is the Spirit of God

2010-01-25T18:58:00.008-07:00

Dark Horse at Texas Pride Sat Jan 23

2010-01-20T01:47:00.011-07:00

We'll have cozy little cafe music at the Texas Pride from 6-9. The food is really good and reasonably priced. Come early as seating is limited. It's just west of the Huntsville Park next to the church.

We'll be biting the heads of some chickens if we can get the management to agree. So don't miss the fun.

For the first 10 people that come in and say, "hey, Dave you're the man!" I will turn my head completely around on my body.

I also and thinking of being a phycologist-amature of course, to pick up a little money on the side.

If anybody has done that before I'd appreciate any advice you have if you don't charge.
I have been thinking of combining both.

SEEING DOUBLE

2010-01-07T14:20:00.005-07:00

I'm walking into Home Depot and I notice the guy ahead of me is wearing the exact same shirt.
I don't think anything of it until I see him again in the store. I say, "nice shirt." He nods and smiles. I then see him again in lumber. I say "nice fit" He says "so is yours." we pass and then I bump into him in the restroom. This has become very awkward to say the least. There is nothing left to say but "Where did you get it?" He says "sears." I just keep standing there playing like I'm peeing.

All I can think about is "You bought me a shirt from Sears!" Sears sell dryers and weed eaters. What a dumbass shirt. I threw it in the garbage as soon as I got home.

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T21:16:00.004-07:00

An old Indian who lived up Middle Fork said that this would be the year of the Dark Horse. Since Michael Jackson, the king of pop is gone there is nothing standing in our way. We'll be at Texas Pride Grill in Jan, Feb and Mar. Dates will follow. I hope you all have a wonderful new year and may all your resolutions be easy to break without remorse.

Dark Horse Corralled at Texas Pride Friday Dec 18

2009-12-14T20:05:00.002-07:00

Dark Horse will play from 6 to 9 on Friday, December 18, at the Texas Pride Grill in Huntsville. This will be a softer more "gentle" version with some Holiday music throughout. Not a lot of seating so come early and bring the whole family. It will be a fun night. The food is great and the prices are right. See ya there. Dark Horse Dave.

this is awesome

2009-10-19T00:05:00.000-06:00

2009-09-16T07:23:00.000-06:00

It's a Dark Horse Saturday night! This Saturday the 19th we'll be at Texas Pride Grill in Huntsville from 6-9 pm. Trying to "hold back" the summer days. Bring a jacket and lawn chair and plenty of friends. We start right at 6 and play non-stop till 9. Three solid hours of great music. Hope to see you there.

Summer's last Dark Horse Concert Fri 21

2009-08-19T22:59:00.000-06:00

Dark horse concert Fri the 21st at Texas Pride BBQ starting at 6 ending at 9. Bring a chair, coat, kids and blanket. This is in Huntsville not Eden. Concert is free. This is the last of our summer concerts I hope to see you there

Dark Horse at the fair this Wednesday

2009-08-03T21:35:00.005-06:00

We will be at the Weber Co. Fair this Wednesday from 8:30 pm to close.

If you're there stop and say, "Hi."

We will be performing some live amputations if the Health Dept. will give us approval. You might see a foot or two pop off.

I hope to see ya there.

Dark HOrse Playing thE 31st of July at the Texas Pride BBQ in Huntsville, Utah

2009-06-23T22:32:00.008-06:00

This is the link where we are playing.

http://www.texaspridebarbecue.com/

The Dark Horse concert will be on Friday the 31st at Texas Pride BBQ, just west of the park behind the restaruant starting at 6 ending at 9. Bring a chair, coat, kids and blanket. This is in Huntsville not Eden. Concert is free. I hope to see you there.
Dark Horse will be playing at the Texas Pride BBQ from 6 to 9 thE 31st Friday in Huntsville. It is on the West side of the Park and in the back of the resturant. It's free. Bring coats, chairs and a blanket and be prepared to enjoy a great night on Friday the 31st. See ya there. All are invited. dc

What you would do..........?

2009-05-24T05:31:00.003-06:00

A number of years ago I was at this fancy smancy party talking to some up-itty fancy smancy folks and while I am eating a macaroon homemade cookie I realize that I have this huge hair in my mouth. I am standing right next to three people who are conversing with me. What do you think I did and what would you have done? Please post your responses............

I know I'm getting Older because............

2009-05-22T22:37:00.003-06:00

I have had thoughts like, I'm driving down the road and I think, "oh, my hell, I forgot how to drive and I can't remember how far away from a fire hydrant one can park. Is it 20 feet or 200 feet?" I found out when I took the drivers test that the scoreing officer will give you a correct answer if it is more conservative. Like the question was; what is the speed limit in a school zone? I said 2 mph and he said that's wrong but if you believe that you'll be ok. So he gave me the question right. I find my self trying to justify speeding around the damn. I think I'll say, on a curve your radar won't be accurate because I was on the outside lane. I use my mother in laws disability parking pass that is expired but if I get caught I'll say, "2008? Are you sure? Oh, my hell she gave me the wrong one. She's blind you know." I think that will work. or, This trailer is under 750 lbs and so it doesn't need lights. If I can lift the corner off the ground will you believe it's under that weight? Of course I'd have to say I had a bad back. Anyway, I'm getting older and I'm thinking older. The other day a pretty girl walked by me in the hall and I thought "gee, I sure hope I don't break wind right now."

A Piece of Pirate Talk taken from my faceBOOK

2009-05-11T22:05:00.010-06:00

This was taken from my FaceBook. You mates will enjoy it.

David Carver says: This pirate english is easy because I have been wearing my eye patch for the last 3 weeks. I can speak raccoon also if I have to.

Then, C Joleen Bailey Pearce Asks:
Is Raccoon tough to learn?

I say, that's a good question and people ask me it all the time. Speaking Raccoon is easy, understanding is hard at best. I'll answer the last one first. If you hear someone speaking raccoon you have two choices, 1. give them what they want or 2. slap them up the side of the head and say, "stop that dumb ass thing and tell me what you want." I've always known raccoon as I was raise by a family of them-that's me on the left.

When I was in elementary school I was sent to a speech therapy class and after a few days there with no improvement so the "head" lady came to visit. My teacher said something in a whisper to the head lady-a huge lady with big bossums.

She, the big lady came over to me and listened to me for just a few seconds and then she raised up her arms with the skin flapping underneath and said,

"good hell Mary, the boy's speaking Raccoon!" She then grabbed me and tried to smother me in those big bossums and I guess it helped because from then on I knew want I wanted in life and was able to speak good.

The Day I almost died by dave carver-recently

2009-05-07T21:55:00.003-06:00

So the other day I'm driving around the dam heading to town and I see a white thing that looks like an iceberg just off the wind surfer's point. I say to myself, "What the hell is that?" I want to get a closer look so I turn off the road to check it out. As soon as I start to turn I see a car in front of me and there are a lot of cars behind me. So I think to myself, "What would Michelle Christy do in this situation?" She would act like she was in a movie and just keep going and pull off the road going 50 miles an hour. That's great for Michelle, but for me, I think, I'll play like I do this all the time and just go flying off the road like some dumb ass. When the dust and rocks settle I play like I'm looking at what turns out to be 40 Pelicans in a mass just sitting there waiting for me to crash through the guard rail and fly down the embankment and settle into a watery grave. Lucky for me there wasn't anyone that I knew when I pulled my little stunt. Michelle doesn't have to worry about competition from me.

My Clock on the BLOG Doesn't WORK

2009-05-05T22:10:00.004-06:00

So I've been waiting for my clock on the right side of this blog to get working again like my atomic clock in the bathroom and it still isn't working. Therefore for you that are using it to know when to go to work, I'll keep changing the AM to PM when I check it as that's the only thing I can change. This will make it easier for you to go to work either in the morning or at night instead of visa-versa. I hope that's not too inconvenient for you or you could call me at 801-791-0075 and I'll tell you what time it is. Thanks

Hypo con dree act---act

2009-05-02T10:21:00.003-06:00

Sometimes Grandma or most older people focus too much on their health as that's all they have to do. Recently, Grandma thought her face was going to explode because it was so painful. Her sinuses and jaws were really hurting her. After threats of needing to be taken the to emergency room, I finally relented and said I would get her to a doctor. I thought how much it was going to cost and how much time it would take and how far away an appointment was going to be. So I made an appointment with her dentist as he's really good at getting her in. I took her to the dentist and he took a lot of X-Rays(she loves stuff like that) and gave her a prescription for a low dose of antibiotic. This was really good since it was fast and cost a lot less. I went to the "pharma"(as she calls it) and bought a small pack of Tic-Tacs thinking that would be just as good. I took the label off and said they were miracle pills and that they would taste like candy-it was a new marketing strategy they were trying out. As it turned out, she was great and the pain went away and for half the cost and her breath is much improved also. A happy ending.

TIMESHARE, my BUTT. It was TIME TAker

2009-04-26T18:03:00.009-06:00

Kelli inspired me to write of my experience at the timeshare place in Florida. Her husband Chad got us a free day at this place and all we had to do is listen to a 20 min spiel on their program-or so they say. We arrived late and they said we could come down to the lobby anytime to hear the "presentation." When we got there the guy was a real as... hol... saying if we didn't hurry up we couldn't get the free night and it would cost $175. So we went with them to the presentation place as we walked in we saw a room full of people and none of them were talking but all were looking down at the floor-that's a red flag I learned later. I got in line to give my information to the clerk and stood next to this very nice old guy doing the same thing when all of a sudden this lady came bursting out of the door to the back office yelling at the top of her lungs saying stuff like. "These Go# \da*m$^# Bas&$#s lie @$ to you. They say it will only take 20 minutes and we've been here for 2 hours and they won't let you got, the sons of B*%$#@!)*s! The guy next to me says, "Oh, dear. I certainly hope not." in the kindest voice. This was a huge red flag. We went into this big room with very loud music playing where we sat at a table and then met a nice young lady who said,
she came back just for us from her vacation day because she was so impressed with our information. She must have liked our names as that's all the info we had given them so far.
She told us a little about the timeshare and how her family had a timeshare and that her little brother had died and all her memories were of their vacations at the timeshare. I started crying at hearing this but Linda just sat there like a "bump on a log" with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I learned later that it was an act she was putting on. That story didn't seem to change Linda so the lady told of when her mother died while they were just coming back from their timeshare and they were happy they had that time together especially when her mother reached out her hand from the bloody car crash and said in broken voice, "promise me you'll never sell the condo." She then collapsed into a coma and
the paramedics said how much they enjoyed their condos. The sales lady just kept telling sad and yet kinda exciting stories and I kept crying and Linda just kept sitting there. After two hours and three times to the bathroom and four bowls of popcorn and 6 free cokes, I think we're done. We kept telling the lady that I get sick flying on planes-I don't, but Linda said I did, so I went along with it thinking there must be a reason for not wanting to travel any where. We stand up and the lady says follow me and we went out back and I see an golf cart and I find out that we are going to tour the facility. Holy, snikes! What happened to being done!? We get into the golf cart and look a four different condos. They actually looked pretty nice to me and I'm thinking we should get one but Linda is still looking down and is kinda grey in the face so I don't push it. We are then handed off to another guy who starts the same bull sh.... story again! I think that this is incredible. "What are the chances that two different people have brothers and mothers that die after they stay in a condo?" This timeshare owning sounds just too dangerous to me. I start to voice my concern but Linda kicks my foot just as I'm starting to talk so I don't. Then we're handed off to another guy and buy this time the entire room if empty-mind you there were at least 30 people there when we started. The lights are turned off and our car is the only one in the parking lot. We now have been there over 4 hours-no sh...t-4 hours. They say the same dam... things to us-the best being, "What do we have to do to have you sign today?" I think, blow your head off would be good or let me smash your hand in the door for a starter. Linda still hasn't changed her posture. Over 4 hours and she still looks exactly the same. They say, OK you win let's take you to the office and get your paperwork. I think, Yes!. We go into an office where the "hammer" is and we sit down. This cute little gal comes in and says, "What do we have to do to have you sign to day?" That does it! I've gone over the edge. I reach up to take my hat off and I catch my glasses and pull everything off at the same time and they fall all over the place like some dumb as.... old guy triping over himself, I say, "Good L... lady we've been here almost 5 hours, the carlot is empty, the room is empty there is no one left. We just want to get the hell outta here! My face is all red, Linda now has changed her attitude. She thinks I'm going to deck this girl. I should have. Let's just say Linda won because she only said, 5 words the whole time-We don't like to travel. An unforgetable experience.

Channeling for Grandma

2009-04-23T07:02:00.005-06:00

Grandma doesn't use the computer so she is not into anything like blogs, facebook or such. I had the idea that if I channeled her through ME into a blog she could communicate with all of you.
So here goes....this may take a minute....... I can sense her near, nearer, Oh, wait. that's Brown Dog...Back to Grandma... Grandma, are you there? Yes, son-in-law I'm here.

Don't count me out yet. This Old grey mare ain't what she used to be. I've been around the block a few times. This could be the end. The're not ready for me in heaven. I've been a little naughty upstairs. I get the craziest things. Have you ever heard of swollen legs? I hear Tea for Two and God Bless America in my hear all day long. Doctor what causes that? I never really liked either one of those songs. Can you take the garbage out after this session? ( this is me-I would Grandma but it was picked up just yesterday. How about waiting a week?) I just like to get it out of here because it smells. (There isn't anything in it) OK, Just don't forget to take it out. .....I'm losing her. There Grandma was channeled into my Blog. Amazing.

RACCon TAILS for my Gang Buddies

2009-04-19T18:05:00.005-06:00

I want to add to the assessories list available to members of the "Fake Eye-Patch" Gang. We now have available Raccon Tails! Yes, no other gang has them and they are exclusive here.
Just $5.95 per tail with your $2.75 Fake Eye-Patch. You'll really look groovey.

Available in small, medium and large or the one size fits all.
You'll be a hit and everybody will want one just to be like you.

JOIN my NEW CLUB

2009-04-17T20:36:00.008-06:00

I'm thinking of making a club or gang called the "Fake Eye-Patch" club. I actually like the Fake Eye-Patch Gang better than club. We would have a lot in common as we would have these eye-patches that we would wear whenever we wanted to belong to something bigger than ourselves. We could wear them to church. Like when you get fired from your job or somebody hits your car in a parking lot and you just need somebody to put their arm around you give you a big hug and say, "I love your eye-patch. When did you lose your eye?" You could flip it up and say, "Gotcha." Then blink a few times and then ask them if they want to join the gang and tell them where to get or make their own eye-patch.
If Lowell Stallings was still here we could elect him president and he could give a speech and stuff. Anyway, I think being part of a gang is really fun as I feel a little bit rebellious and I'm the only member of the gang so far.

I'm going out right now and "tag" somebody's barn or fence or house. I'll use some secret phrase like, "one eyes blind" or "blind in one eye" or "still crazy with one eye." Look for it around the Valley. Let me know if you want to be a part of this gang. The dues will only be $2.75 per month for shipping and handling sending eye-patches out. It would be a little more if you want and eye-patch that you can see through.

Hope to see ya soon.

birD Whisperer, when I was younG

2009-04-13T07:42:00.009-06:00

As a young boy of 7 or 8, I started one of my many careers. I became a bird whisperer. I taught our parakeet how to talk. I stood by his cage and "tamed" him down-I guess it was a him. The bird was named Pretty Boy and would sit on your shoulder all day and say stuff like, "pretty boy" or "Hello" or "Young lad, could you fetch me a cracker?" OK, that last one didn't really happen but I was working on something like it. I got my first job as a bird whisperer working with our neighbors bird. It was actually Keith Hill's grandmother Bee Hill who lived next door in Ogden. Her bird was a real bitch. It bit the hel.. out of my hand when I tried to teach it to sit on my finger. I stood by the cage for 2 days, saying, "Hello, hello." Kinda like talking into an old microphone looking for someone in outer space. I finally said to Mrs. Hill, "Either your bird is deaf or a real dumb as... but he can't be taught. I'd do everybody a favor and open the cage and let him go." She didn't seem please with my assessment but as a bird whisperer one can't be too honest.
Anyway I became a mouse autopsy doctor until my best friend Johnny Thorsensen said, "This mouse won't be going to heaven now." I thought it was kinda like taking a picture of an african native. The camera steals their soul and as we all know, "no soul, no heaven." That career lasted about a day. By this time I was 3 days older than 7 or 8.

CONseqences OF A good deal AT shopCO

2009-04-11T18:47:00.002-06:00

Looks like I'll need to get a parakeet.

I GOT A BONUS FROM SHOPCO TODAY

2009-04-09T12:00:00.003-06:00

So today I got a bonus coupon from Shopco because I buy a lot of stuff there. I think about how I am going to spend it. I need to buy just the right amount of stuff to get the most "bang for my buck." I walk up and down the aisle looking at EVERYTHING! I finally settle on some parakeet food. I am so proud that I don't spend very much but I got to take a lot out the door. Is this a great country of what?

LINDA"S Lost Little Brother.......

2009-04-05T13:17:00.010-06:00

When we were moving back from California Linda's mother, Irene came down to help. Linda drove the car and Irene held Jamie who was very small and I drove the U-Haul truck. It was extrememly hot going into Baker, California and everyone was roasting. I was about an hour ahead of them.
Linda was getting sleepy and Irene was holding the bady and started talking about how beautiful and precious little children are and how difficult it would be to put one up for adoption. Then she bent over and put her head in her hands and said, "I know somebody who gave up a little child," Then she paused for a long time and continued, "and her name was Irene" and put her head back in her hands and just held that position. Oh, my gosh! Linda started to cry thinking she had a little brother somewhere in the world that had been given up and this was a true confession.

The longest time went by until Irene raised her head and said, "I can't remember her last name though. I think it was Bells or Bills or something." Well, needless to say Linda was going to bonk her for making her think she had a brother but it was so hot Irene just was thinking of the lady's name and Linda was wide awake.

When We got home and settled, Linda told the story to her sister, Nancy, the same way it was told her by Irene and Nancy started to cry. It was so dang funny. We still laugh at this great family story.

Funny Frazes... add some of your own.

2009-04-01T17:48:00.003-06:00

I think this is a funny comeback.... What are ya doin?

Just trying not to gas up.

Just looking for a safe place to have a seizure.

Just looking for a safe place to land.

Just lookin' for the "man."

Tryin' to "stick-it to whitie."

Tryin' to stay "light on my feet."

Tryin' to look pretty.

Give me some of your favorite or creative ones.

Grandma's GREEN Bananas--

2009-03-30T21:21:00.012-06:00

At least once a week for the last 8 years Grandma asks me to get her some bananas. She says, "They are good for my bowels and be sure they are green so they don't get too ripe by the time I eat them." So everytime I see a banana I think, I should buy some as they would be good for someone's bowels.

She puts them in a blender and turns it on high and walks away. Good hell after 20 minutes of the blender going at high speed and making that blender sound--AAAHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE the bananas should be smooth. Total air. If any normal person drank that they would be farting for a week. It's some kind of ritual-eating liquid bananas.

So I'm in Albertsons and I ask the guy if he has any green bananas and he says, "what for?" I automatically say, "They're good for your bowels."

Too bad that stock girl wasn't here to witness this second case of dumb ass outbreak.

I'M BRing BACK Something This summer......

2009-03-28T19:41:00.011-06:00

I read the Justin Timberlake was bringing Sexy back. I think it is his tour.

Well DavieBoy is bring something back as well this year. I want to decide what would be best to bring back this summer.
I could bring back Sassy,

I could bring back Spazzy,

I could bring back Cool

or how about bringing back Heartfelt Enthusiasm?

Let me know what I should bring back this summer and by damn I'll bring it back.

FAmily fun Facts 6 Kelli and Jamie Brr-day

2009-03-26T23:18:00.011-06:00

Kelli's Brrrr-day is March 29th, Sunday and

Jamie's is April 5th, A Sunday also. Happy Brrr-day to both of you. What a treat to have you living on each side of us with your families. Life couldn't get any better than this. I love you both. dad

Who IS the reaL angel now???????????

2009-03-24T11:17:00.005-06:00

After reading family fun facts series 1,2,3,4 and 5 we all know that Jamie isn't the angel that we think she is. There is always something brewing in the head of hers.

As for David Hunter- he's a funny Monkey. No question. So who's the real angel after all this revealing information? Yes, you guessed it our own little Kelli who only swears in her mind now.

FAmily FUn FactS 5-David (Hunter)'s little trip

2009-03-24T06:52:00.004-06:00

Son David Hunter, my son, was supposed to be staying over at his friends house for the weekend and Linda sees a father of one of the kids at the store and he says, "That was some adventure that the boys took wasn't it?"
"Adventure" She says, "David was staying overnight working on a school project" The guy just sorta fads back into the crowd and Linda is trying to get in touch with David and find out where he went. As it turns out he and his friends went to the 311 concert in Boise, Idaho. They locked their keys in the car, ran out of money, had to talk some motel clerk into letting them stay over night. It was the biggest nightmare on record. Linda still didn't believe the guy until she saw a credit card receipt from Idaho. To make a very long and funny story short it all came out and when Jamie and Kelli had David reherse it to me in the living room it was all I could do to not laugh out loud as it was such a mess and the more I started to laugh the more Kelli and Jamie got mad. They were so mad that they started yelling at me also. To this day they think I should have done something to David to "make him pay" and remember how stupid it was to run off. I don't do it justice at all here but it was the funniest thing ever. Ask Kelli or Jamie how it was

FAmily Fun Facts-series 4, More Mr. Prisk antics

2009-03-21T21:32:00.003-06:00

So Kelli is in Mr. Prisk's Biology class and has missed most of his lectures being a student officer at Weber High School and she is looking bored. He says to her in a very curt way, "Kelli, I have worked hard on this stuff so pay attention." She says, "well not hard enough." He says, "Why is that?" And she says, "Because it is boring." He was very, very mad. But since she had gotten the highest in the class on his year-end test, there was nothing he could do. He got mad at the class and said to them, "How is it possible for Kelli to get so high on the test when she's not even here and you (the rest of the class) could hardly pass it? That was way funny. I think they almost came to blows.

FAMILY FUN FACTS Series 3 Guess the Kid, Science class

2009-03-19T07:23:00.004-06:00

Many of you may know Glen Prisk who was a teacher at Weber High School. He taught many subjects and was a little "testy or onery" at times. Which kid was caught hinding in the library with their friend trying to escape getting caught by Mr. Prisk when they should have been in class? As it turned out they saw Prisk coming down the hall and ducked into the Library and hid under one of the desks. Prisk looked under everyone until they were caught. He took them to the Principal and they got a good "talkin' to." It was very dang funny. Guess which one did that?

GRANDMA SETS ME UP...........

2009-03-15T07:57:00.006-06:00

So, I am walking Grandma through Albertsons to grocery shop and since she is pretty much blind I have to tell her what items we're passing. As we walk down the aisle we meet a 20 year old gal doing inventory for the store. I say, hi and pass by. She is going the same direction but opposite direction in the row so we pass her again. I say, We met your twin. She responds and we keep going making some goofy comment each time-like "you should get paid for two" or "you look just like a girl we met earlier." Anyway, we come to the end of the store and remember, Grandma hasn't said anything so far. We meet the girl again and Irene stops and say, "Hi, I just love your sweater it is so pretty. You're a real cute gal. He could have a lot of fun with you" smiling from ear to ear. The girl looks at me and for once in my life I don't have a thing to say but under my breath I announce, "Grandma, what the hell are you saying?" The girl is just standing there with her pen and clipboard with the goofyest look on her face. The only thing I can think to do is Flash open my coat and run out of the store. I think that would work but I'd have to come back to get Grandma and the police would be here. I just walk away. There was nothing to say.

FAMILY FUN FACTS series 2 Which kid this time...

2009-03-14T07:28:00.005-06:00

I know that kids want to drive as soon as they can reach the steering wheel. All of kelli's kids have gotten their turn at locking kelli out of the car with the engine running. Ask her about Carver at their 29th street house when Rita was there. But this true incident is about one of my three kids who used to put on a big overcoat, huge hat and sit on a pillow to make themselves look taller behind the wheel. They would drive over to see their friends 2 years before they could legally. Which one pulled that trick time and time again?

THE SPIRIT OF GRANDPA GUIDED ME .....

2009-03-11T21:55:00.006-06:00

I was going down the canyon and I had this still small voice sound in my ear. It was the voice of my Dad or Grandpa. He was an avid DI hunter. I said, "What? What do you want? Go to the DI. Now? Why? I'll be shown the way?" So not wanting to cause a problem with spiritual things I drove to the DI and called Grandma on the way and told her I needed to go somewhere important and that I was on a secret mission to rob a bank and take some hostages and hold them for ransom and cut off a finger every hour until my demands are met. She didn't hear me but she said, "You're a good son-in-law and nobody knows how much pain I'm in and ..blah, blah, blah. Anyway when I walked into the store and there was a light that shown down from the ceiling like a beacon guiding me to the men's shoe rack. The light shown directly on a pair of shoes. I said to myself, "These are 2 sizes too big. How will I keep them on? By wearing two pair of socks? How do I keep the two pair of socks from bunching up toward my toes inside the shoes? Use tape above my ankles? Isn't this a lot of trouble? Buy the shoes? Don't run in them or make a sudden turn? Why? Oh, they'll come off! Are you sure? I am feeling kinda put out then I remembered how many times Grandpa said he was a secret buyer for the DI and I felt like I needed to do this one thing. "Are you sure?" OK, OK, I'll buy the damn shoes." So I did and I felt like Grandpa and I connected somehow at the DI where one man's crap can become another man's crap like magic.

FAMILY FUN FACTS series 2 Plumbers Crack

2009-03-11T19:00:00.004-06:00

This story is on my facebook but not all of you read that. I think it is funny enough to post here.

I was with Jamie and Emily Jensen when they where about 10-12 and we were at the mall and we saw a guy with "plumbers crack" sitting on one of the benches. I asked them to go put a quarter in that guy's slot, thinking they would just laugh and not try to do it. Well was I wrong. They both went over there and had their quarters out. I was so lucky to have stopped them just in time before a major scene erupted at the Ogden Mall.

FAMILY FUN FACTS series-Guess which kid did this:

2009-03-09T19:29:00.007-06:00

After an overnight sleep-out I said, "How did you put the fire out?" They said, "We peed on it." Just who do you think did that? There are only three choices.

MAUI PICTURES-OUR LAST TRIP-2008

2009-03-07T20:40:00.005-07:00

So I'm walking down the beach looking for a bathroom----And I hear somebody say, "Speedo's are just wrong." I think to myself, Why?

THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

2009-03-07T11:21:00.008-07:00

What if we are just a dream that God is having and He's about to wake up? Should I still believe in the Easter Bunny? Do I have time to hide the eggs or is it just a big waste?

What if the Hoky Poky is what it's all about? Should I learn that whole dance? Do I need to know all the words?

THIS IS HOW I AM GOING WHEN HE CALLS ME

2009-03-02T23:26:00.005-07:00

When It's time to check out and there is nothing left to do and nothing left to say--I want to be on stage with Dark Horse, playing Smoke On The Water in the rain and get hit by a bolt of lightning. I will be on fire but I'll keep playing. And when there is no more power in my fingers and charred beyond recognition, my Amps will do the talkin'. I've instructed the roadies not to turn the power off until the police come. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLLLLLLLLLLL.

PLACES TO STAY IN FLORIDA

2009-02-28T15:54:00.006-07:00

We're eating with Grandma and Grandpa at a resturant a number of years ago-not long enough, when the conversation shifted to traveling in Florida. Grandma speaks up in a plenty loud voice-loud enough for all to hear, "We stayed in Florida once, years ago. It was the best condom I've ever seen. Yes a big condom right on the beach. Doty's next door let us use their condom. I'll never forget it." Nor will we Grandma, nor will we.

THIS IS WHAT WE CAN EXPECT WHEN WE ARE 91.

2009-02-27T14:55:00.004-07:00

Hey, Gramps, do you know you're peeing on the floor?

"Ya."

GETTING A URINE SAMPLE

2009-02-24T18:18:00.005-07:00

So Jamie is having a birthday party for one of her kids at the McDonalds in North Ogden and has grandma and grandpa there to celebrate with them. She is standing in line at the counter ordering when out of the blue, grandma pushes her way to the front, (she is kinda blind) and says to the gal, "Can I have a big empty drink cup? I'm not going to put anything in it, I'm going to urinate in it. The ones they give you at the doctor's office are too small and I get it all over my hands (she had a docs appmt the next day and wanted to get ready) The counter girl handed her a large cup. Jamie all the while is standing there with her mouth open and saying, "Grandma, what the he... are you saying?" Totally shocked and red-faced. So funny. Well the next day I took her to the docs appmt and sure enough she put the "big gulp" in that little passage way and closed it. Can you imagine the look on that nurse's face when she opened up the other side a there is a giant McDonald's cup full of urine? Very dang funny.

IF THEY EVER ASK ME TO SPEAK AT THE WORLD BIO-FUELS CONVENTION IN NEW YORK CITY......

2009-02-21T19:01:00.008-07:00

If I was asked to speak at the world convention on Bio-fuels because their main speaker got the day wrong I would, yes. This is what I would do.

I would wear a nice dark blue suit with a red tie and have my cool leather brief case in my hand as I walked up to the podium. I would place the brief case on the floor by my feet and the with my right hand I would grab the front of the podium and lean way forward toward the audience turning slightly sideways to the left. I then would say with a lot of authority and conviction in my voice, (I would have already sipped 2 diet cokes so I could do this) I would say slowly and deliberately, "You call yourselves scientists? You're not scientists you're nothing but a bunch of lazy bums. Why, I can get more gass out of a bowl of chilli beans at Wendy's then you can from a bushel of wheat." Then I would say really loud, "Now get your asses back to work, NOW!" Everybody would be saying, that's the best talk I ever heard or I never thought of beans or He's a freakin' genius.

Then as I was walking out with my chaufer he would say to me quietly, "It's the other kind of gas." I would think a minute while looking for the nearest exit and say, "oh."

IF MY SON WAS A GHOST HE WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS

2009-02-19T23:30:00.003-07:00

If Hunter (David) stood against a brick wall and his wife Kristin, sprayed him with paint, this is what it would look like. I could give a talk in church about this pic, it represents so much. I often think to myself, " I wish I was Hunter and Kristin just for a little while as it would be so fun." I love you both. dad

WHEN I MET MY FIRST ALIEN FROM OUTERSPACE

2009-02-17T22:19:00.004-07:00

When I met my first alien from some place out west it looked like this and our conversation went pretty much this way:

Me, "Hello are you new here?"

Me again, "Where are you from?"

Note: Aliens don't talk with their mouths they use their minds.

Me again, "Hey, do you have Karate in your country?"

Note: I'm sure he can understand me but I can't read minds so I just keep talking kinda like grandma who is deaf. As long as she talks she doesn't have to be able to hear.

Me again, We have black belts in Karate I see you don't have back belts but you could just say that belt you're wearing is back. Oh, wait a minute. I'm getting something, something is coming through. I can sorta understand what he is trying to say, "It's not a belt?"

Me "what? oh, whoa sorry. it looked like a belt. On second thought, you won't need Karate.

Well, nice talkin' to ya and see ya around.

ANOTHER TELEMARKETING EXPERIENCE

2009-02-12T16:42:00.007-07:00

So, I'm in the car watching two of kelli's kids while they sleep and while she runs into the scouting office in south Ogden when this call comes in from a collector. He wants to know when I am going to pay some bill that I have never heard about in my whole life and he starts in as soon as I answer. As he keeps going I can tell his is from New Jersey-a real dink. Well I start talking back to him in my "Chinese man on cocain" voice. My voice gets louder and higher as I talk like this, "How you get maw numbaw? What you call me? How you talk to me like some A.. Ho..? You some kind of Jack A..?" "I wip yo howrt out and eat it. I eat it all. I pull off yo ahm and beat yo wit it." "Yo dumb bawhsard." Well I don't know where the accent came from, maybe some ancestor that is Chinese was helping me but it was incredible. The kids started to wake up as I was swearing and talking so loud in this funny Chinese voice. The guy got this phrase out as that's all I would let him say as I was doing all the yelling, "Are you drunk Mr. Carver? Did you get hit on the head?" Then I heard him say to someone in the background, "This F'n guy's nutty."

I could hardly keep in my "Chinese Man on Cocain" voice going as I was laughing so hard. I would love to let you hear it but I would have to get special clearance from the Stake President to do as I used every swear word and knew and some I hadn't learned yet. Needless to say, he hung up and I never heard from him again.

THE DAY I TOLD A TELEMARKETER OFF

2009-02-09T22:42:00.005-07:00

So, I am taking care of my dad prior to his death and am staying at his house. I check the phone ID for any calls I may have missed and I see a number that is obviously a telemarketer. I have found that if I let them know that I am on a Do Not Call list (DNC) after a while I don't get anymore calls. He was getting about 10 a day and after about 2 weeks almost none. So I call this number back and a nice older lady answers and I proceed to go into my story that I have this 91 year-old father and about how sick and tired we are getting all these telemarketing calls and that I'm on a DNC list and that I can sue her company and by hell I better not receive another call from her again. As I am launching off and my voice is getting louder and louder and higher and higher she tries to butt in but I don't let her and after I'm hitting my highest note and screaming the loudest I say, "Let me make myself clear, Do not call here anymore," I hear this voice say meakly, "OK." and I hang up. Well I look at the number I just called and I notice that I dialed 801 instead of the actual number of 800, blah, blah, blah. So I had just called some lady like my 91 year-old mother-in-law and really gave her a dressing down. Well one thing is for sure. I've never gotten a call from her since. Copy and paste this link to see who I was talking to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22uYDgZXoJQ

25 more things from my CPA Brother Steven

2009-02-06T20:30:00.002-07:00

Here's my Brother Steve's 25 questions. I ask you, Which of us needs medication?

1. When I was a kid I burned up a big pile of hay in the back yard and tried to put it out using a salt shaker to carry water back and forth from the house.
2. My Dad, speaking of a particular son-in-law said " It's OK to play cowboys and indians but you had better damn well work in between" .
3. When I was a kid I used to put my mouth up to the radio speaker and yell into the radio "shut up!" Lately I'm catching myself doing it again.
4. I'm an adrenalin junkie accountant.
5. I should have heeded the warning signs.
6. Can I ask you a rhetorical question?
7. My favorite movie line is "dyin' ain't much of a livin'" Outlaw Josie Wales.
8. The scripture says "As arrows are in the hand of the mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man who has a quiver full of them." But there were days that I wanted to shot one of those arrows over the hill.
9. I'm humbled by the respect you are going to give me.
10. If you are willing to wear warm-up pants with a golf shirt to the mall, you must think that you've got the world by the tail. Don't forget your Gilligan hat!
11. Pat went on a trip for 10 days while I stayed home with Barkley. He and I got along great until on the eighth day when I needed a drink of water at the same time Barkley thought he needed one too.
12. You can win any argument guaranteed with this final remark, " Oh yeah, well you have poop in your pants!"
13. When I look at Spencer, Lisa, Danny, Mike and Mitch I see my kids in their faces.
14. If you were a heterosexual guy and you dressed up in some nice looking womens clothes and wig say, and you went to the store just to be funny, Don't try to call the cops if someone pulls off your wig and steals your purse because who are you going to blame?
15. The fastest I even dare drive is 30 mph if I want to spit out the window.
16. Ever since I've been on Coumadin, which they say is rat poison, I have not seen even one rat come around. I think they sense how dangerous I am.
17. I went to the Jazz game the other night. It's sure different being there than it is on TV. The players are way bigger than what they look like on TV. Except when I saw John Stockton. He was way skinny and is wearing glasses now and needed a hair cut. I thought it was pretty tacky to still be wearing his jersey.Also he's way cheap because he was sitting in the upper bowl. Hey John, Jerry's not going to call you down from the upper bowl to check in!. Forget it, You're done.
18. One winter I wore my sister Janet's really cool saddle oxford shoes to 4th grade.(Janet was in high school so the shoes were a" little" big for me). The sole of one shoe was all unstiched and flapped when I walked. It was a pain but I thought I looked cool in the shoes anyway. At recess I went to slide down the slippery sidewalk hill and the shoe made me fall back on my head and I was knocked out cold.
19. I can't make excuses for you.
20. After I turn 60, maybe sooner, I will not offer you any food from my plate.
21. Always carry a coin in your pocket because you never know when you'll have to "flip for it".
22.I had a dream that I was listening to General Conference and I woke up and I was. Actually I guess it's a recurring dream.
23. Can you believe all the drama? No one is going to escape it.
24. Hey!! Are you guys freakin' NUTS?? I'm in TAX SEASON and you've got me writing 25 things that don't tell you 25% of who I am or what I'm all about or how I roll or what makes me tick or if I secretly hoped Obama would lose. Who am I going to bill for this? You? or you? How about Big-Foot Man? I don't have time for this. I'm done! I didn't sign up for this crap.

Answer to when people ask you, "What ya doin?"

2009-02-06T09:21:00.004-07:00

Say, "Just tryin' to keep my monkey on a leash." That was submitted by my brother, Scott. What are your favorite answers to that common question? Please comment

Sting Rays can't Bite--Right!

2009-02-04T11:40:00.006-07:00

After looking at this picture of the Sting Ray migration, Karen said, "so cool. I think these are the coolest things - but one bit me a couple of years ago in Houston. Got sick and had to have a shot not fun. But they are so amazing."

I said, "You got bitten? How many people do I know that have been bitten by a Sting ray? Let's see, well............... ONe. Karen. She has been bitten by one."

Karen, "Yeah - it was pretty funny cause my grandson was afraid they would bit him so he wasn't feeding them like all the rest of the kids and being the wonderful grandma that I am grabbed him, pulled him over to the tank, set him on my knee and then put my hand down in the water with some food. The biggest one came up out of the water half way up my arm and was sucking on my arm all the way down - grossest feeling ever - and then it got to my knuckles and it took a chunk out. Blood everywhere - grandson freaked and took off running - took a year for his eyes to go back into the sockets. I was half laughing, half crying. Hurt like a bugger. The lady said - no big deal, just wash it out. I was throwing up all that night and the next day - which I was flying home. Yeah picture that in the bathroom of an airplane. Not a pleasant experience. Got sick while finding my car at the airport - got sick on the way home and then got home to a note taped on the bathroom mirror - "Mom - sewer is not working so we have no water - don't use the toilet - I peed outside - good luck with that" I wanted to die. Next day I called the poison control and they said Stingrays don't bite. I said well I have a chunk out of my hand where one didn't bite me. Told me to get into the doc and get a tetanus shot. So yeah - they do bite."

I said, "Do you have any notable scares to show off?"

Her reply, "real funny - you can hardly see it through the wrinkles."

Boy Gives Self a Wedgie after Seeing Big Foot

2009-02-04T06:29:00.009-07:00

Young child gives self a wedgie after seeing Big Foot Trying to blow his glasses off with a b0wling pin cannon. "It was a terrible sight and that's what made the boy do it." Said the policeman who wishes to stay anonymous.

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE NBA

2009-02-03T10:37:00.003-07:00

I want to help all those that don't know about the NBA's "dirty little secret." Now I ask you, how many times have the Jazz been behind all of the game then at the last possible moment they come from behind and win? How many times has the "home" team won at the buzzer? Well the truth is the NBA and the WWF (World Wrestling Federation) are run by the same people. It is completely rigged so that people will get their money's worth.

When Larry Miller hired John Stockdale and Carl Malone(the truck driving car salesman) he said as they were walking out of the room, "Now be sure to make it exciting for the fan, if you know what I mean." and as he said it he "winked." The "wink" means lose until the last second and then hit a half-court shot.

Now, another good example is Mike Jordan. Now the Chicago Buffs would be behind by 20 points and there is only 1 minute left and the coach, the one that doesn't shave, says in the huddle, "Mike, take the blindfold off and untie your leg and win this game." Mke would say, "OK."

So what would happen? Mike would hit the basket everytime he threw the ball. He would stick his tongue out, close his eyes and throw the ball into the rafters and win the game. He knew the "dirty little secret" of the NBA.

The WWF works the same way. They know who is going to win months ahead of the match. Then here's the real trick. You say, "Why would the other team "throw" the game?" Hello! Because they split the earnings 50-50. The NBA does it the same way. Give the people what they want and they will pay. That's what happens.

WHENEVER I AM FEELING SAD

2009-02-01T14:53:00.009-07:00

When I feel sad I have found something that cheers me up a lot. I just go to the bottom of this Blog and click on the video about "Limits" and watch it. I say to myself, "Who ever thought this up was damn funny and is divorced." I feel a lot better after I watch it. I then look at a picture of Spagetti Cat, then I'm good.

THE GUT FEELING WHEN FAT IS BEING BURNED

2009-01-31T08:27:00.003-07:00

Once you get on the tonic for a few days and you are able to control the amount of food you are taking in there is a feeling that you are striving to have. This feeling is in the center of your stomach and it similar to feeling hungry but it is deeper than that. When you get this feeling you are starting to burn the calories from your fat. This is a feeling that you want are should look for. When you get it start to feel comportable with it as then you know you are achieving your goal-getting rid of excess fat.

Remember you can over ride the tonic and eat anyway and if that is what you're doing then you need to look at your life and try to fix your stress or frustration before you diet as the problem cannot be fixed with tonic alone.

Alkaline and Acid Food Chart

2009-01-29T19:20:00.002-07:00

I have a good Alkaline/Acid food chart but I don't know how to get it on the Blog. So, send me your email and I'll email it to you. Email me at CarverDavidL@aol.com and say in the subject "Sent me the Good Stuff."

More on Alkaline and Acid

2009-01-27T22:20:00.002-07:00

Alkaliners don't throw your treadmill out the window as you just need to do a couple of things. I stated that it is very important to make the tonic and drink it first thing in the AM prior to your appetite getting in gear. Alkaline does not offset Acid what happens is Acid wants more acid alkaline doesn't desire more alkaline. The proof is when you eat a salad does your stomach ever say, "I want another salad." But, when you eat a great sweet roll your stomach stays, "I love that and I want more." Drink the tonic and go straight to the treadmill and do you walking/jogging and take your vitamins as usual. When you get a little hungry around 11:00 make another drink and the same around 3-4. Then eat lunch and breakfast and try to skip the heavy meal of dinner. Also, honey, sugar, bread, all are acid and they make you want more.

Also, I have a whole thought about the life we live-whether it's acid or alkaline. Acid being stressful alkaline being peaceful.

Also, there are only three ways to get rid of acid. 1. sweat it out, 2. Eliminate it out, 3. Breathe it out. There is no other way. That's way jogging in zone is so good. It does deep breathing and sweating at the same time. So don't put acid things in and you won't have to get rid of it later.

Letting People in the Canyon know that there are Police Watching

2009-01-21T21:43:00.004-07:00

I like to let people know when there are police up ahead in the canyon so they will slow down and not get a ticket. I usually put on my flashers and use my hands to say, "slow down." When I do that and when men pass they immediately put on their brakes and watch for signs of a problem. But, when I pass a women and do the same thing she keeps talking on her cell phone and looks down at her feet, like that hand motion means, there's something under your seat, watch out.

I have seen this same type of driving in the grocery store when I say, "Look out, Lady! I'm in a hurry. Can you quit looking at every can of beans and let me through?" I usually get the look that says, "Screw you buddy, I was in this aisle first and nobody is going to get past until I damn good and ready."

The dog is in her cage howling and I'm laughing so hard I forgot what I was talking about. See ya.

Tonic Elixir Experiences

2009-01-20T12:17:00.003-07:00

Please let us know about any experiences you have using Dave's Tonic Elixir. We'd love to hear from you. Post them here. Have fun being Alkaline. Remember: If you ingest too much acid the only place the body can get rid of it is into fat. There is no other place it can send it.

"Alkaline is Fine"

TONIC ELIXIR RECIPE POSTED AGAIN-Many have asked about it so here it is again

2009-01-18T15:15:00.006-07:00

Here is the formula for Dave's Tonic Elixir
1 large glass of distilled water
Juice from 1/2 a lemon
1 tablespoon of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
1/3 Teaspoon of Concentrace minerals from Great Salt Lake
Stevia to sweeten to taste
Stir thoroughly
Rinse your mouth out with plain water after you drink it as it can harm your teeth-not any worse than sugar however.

Drink first thing in the morning prior to having anything to eat at all and prior to exercising.

Drink another glass about 11:00

Drink another one about 3:00

This will take your appetite away. It is a cleanser so be careful. You may need to ease into the amount you take.This is a very acid drink but it leaves an alkaline ash.You'll feel like a million bucks.
Blood sugar will be leveled-no spikes.
Stomach will feel really good.
Skin will become shiny-really improves your skin.
Medicines will act much more effectively.
Cholesterol will be lowered.
Blood pressure will be lowered.
You won't want to drink a coke, eat a lot of sugary things or eat breads.
Be sure to exercise and take fish oil as a supplement.

You can use this for "a while" then back off to 2 a day then one and you're on your way.

Read up on an alkaline diet vs. an acid one.

You can over-ride the effects of this drink by eating or drinking unhealthy stuff. If this happens then you may need to ask yourself, "Do I really want to lose weight right now or not?" If you are stressed or strung-out and you want to feeling of peace that a full stomach brings then you may want to deal with that problem prior to placing all your trust in the Tonic. It is a miracle drink but not "that" much of a miracle drink!

New Invention-Book of Elementary Class Pictures That Feed Into High School

2009-01-16T14:29:00.006-07:00

This is a great idea. This is one example but would apply to all years. We gather all the pictures we can of all the elementary schools that feed into the Ogden High School Class of 68 and print up a real nice picture book with as many names as we can find. We use this book for two things:

1. The help develope various class reunions and

2. To act as a picture archive of people that graduated for a particular school

Now this idea is great but the real "kicker" is this; we tie the book to a website so the book can be updated as to people and what they are doing, i.e. marriages, deaths, location, children, etc. The cost of the book would include access to these pictures online for research and adding comments or corrections.

The proceeds of the sale of the book would allow for funds to be contributed to the Restoration
Foundation for, in this example, Ogden High School.

There are many other applications and additional pictures but the concept would be to act as an "online archive" for the history people that we care about.

Once we have all the people names one could call a search of our site and there would be a powerpoint presentation made starting from earliest years to later years of a person. How cool would that be?

More to follow.

Food Shopping-One Man's experience

2009-01-12T19:53:00.002-07:00

I needed to go to the store for some food and I told Linda I thought that I could do it myself. Pretty brave isn't it. Well, I should be able to do that alone. So I needed to pick up one of these little non-electric rug sweepers so I thought I'll go to Wal-Mart and get the vac and food at the same time-sort of multi-tasking. Multi-tasking for a man is really like a Reader's Digest in one hand heading for the bathroom. Anyway, I said, hello to everyone I met because they could be my buddy someday. Linda hates it when I call everybody, "buddy." So I get a cart and the worker guy is looking at me so I say, "Can I use this one?" pointing to the first in a row of 200. He looks at me like, "What a dumb as........" I guess that's a. Yes and headed off into the store. My eyes grew wide and my lips started to get dry as well as my throat. I have never seen so much stuff to buy. I'm sure glad I didn't make a list. If I had a list it would take all day trying to find everything. This way I could just walk up and down the ailes (sp) and buy whatever looked good. I started at the Pharma-that's what Grandma calls it, and saw that the line was so long trying to buy Claritin-D that I'll just use some of Grandma's instead. So I stumble onto the vaccum cleaners and can't find any that are non-electric. So I'm looking at a steam cleaner that costs $465 and I'm thinking, "I'll hire a little Jap guy." Just as I am about to move on I see what I need on the top shelf that says, "Ask for assistance." I say, "screw that, I'll just climb up here using the ladder in the hardware section. No problem but the old guy in paint was having a heart attack because I didn't as for "assistance." I just said I was checking out the ladder and It didn't seem to be what I was looking for as the steps were too far apart. I realized the error of my ways when I noticed I was climbing up the wrong side. In anycase I got the sweeper and was off the get some groceries.

Women, drive their shopping carts just like they drive their cars. Without any warning whatsoever they stop or worse they turn without signaling and then stop right the hell in front of you. I think shopping carts should have horns on them. One lady kept doing that and I kept going from side to side and I thought if this cart had real horns I'd goose her a couple of times with them to get her going.

ONe thing I noticed is whenever I found something to put in my cart I would pick it up and then look around to see if anyone was watching or if anyone would come up and say, "Why are you buying that?" I would quickly place it in the cart and move on in case someone did come up and grab it from me. This happened especially in the meat and cheese department. All I kept saying to people as they passed, "buddy, would this make a good sandwich?' They would look at me and just stare and move on.

When I was getting the Macaroni and Cheese-the item you must buy when you go to the store no matter what and no matter if you have a thousand cases in the basement. This guy is getting mad at his wife-it must be his wife because if it was his girlfriend she would have just decked him and walked out. He was winning about how many boxes of Mand C they need. I thought, hell buddy you'll need a lot to fill up that big mouth of yours.

I said, "excuse me" in a real high voice as I was a little scared of this guy that maybe he might start looking at what I bought and want to stomp my face or something. I thought if he asks me a question I'm going to say what Tiff said in one of her comments, "my nose is starting to run and I need to sit down."

After I got all my stuff I went to check out and no matter which line I chose the people would have a problem with the check or something. I thing that is a ploy to make us use plastic credit cards.

While checking out the lady said, "first time?" I said, "excuse me?" She said, "from what you bought here it looks like this is the first time you have ever been to a store. " I said, "No, I work for the FBi and I'm tracking someone. I'll have to bring it all back in the morning as it will be the wrong stuff. I was setting it up for when Linda sees what I bought.

I had a funny feeling about going. I should have laid down on the couch until the feeling passed.

New Invention-Beard Hair protectors

2009-01-12T19:11:00.002-07:00

Do you realize how much beard hair winds up on the floor? Well, if someone didn't cut their beard for a year that's how much there would be. This stuff is ground into the carpet or tile so Davie Boy has invented something to solve the problem. I get the old desk calenders that have a bunch of pages left-the kind that lay on the dest and you write on them, and then put them under me while I shave. Cool idea and very useful. I don't bother trying to get more than one shave out of them because they wouldn't be disposable then would they? Davieboy is inventin' like crazy.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (at the end of my Blog near the counter)

2009-01-08T02:31:00.005-07:00

Women, Know Your Limits! This is very important for all women to read and become familiar so as not to embarress their man. Use this information always, especially when in the company of your husband or boyfriend and you are inclined to make a comment or add an opinion. Be sure to review the points prior to going out for the evening to make his night pleasant and enjoyable and not to offend his friends. Also, tell all women that you know to watch the announcement so they can learn these important habits to acquire prior to conversations when men are present

Help From Those That Have Passed On

2009-01-06T00:56:00.005-07:00

I think that our lives are protected somewhat by those that have passed on that have an interest in our lives, i.e. relatives and grandparents. I was driving up the canyon a couple of weeks ago just after a snow storm and the roads were really slick. A school bus with kids drove past me and put on it's warning lights as it was going to slow down and stop to let off some passengers. The bus put on it's lights as it was rounding a turn and following a short distance behind was a large truck and about 15 cars behind him. I had the impression to put on my blinkers and make hand gestures to slow the line down as they would never be able to stop under the conditions because they could not see the bus's blinking lights as it was hidden by the curve.

Nothing happened all was find and everyone went on their way. But, as I continued up the road I had the impression, "You have no idea how much help you (we) receive from the other side." I'm not saying anything like I had averted an accident-nothing like that. What I am saying is that some small thing can change the course of many lives and we won't know until the final "wind up scene" is through.

The lesson for me is to ALWAYS act on an impression-to call someone, to say something, to do something. I hope I never hesitate as the consequences could be enormous both for good or bad.

Outiside the Box

2009-01-04T07:37:00.003-07:00

So I have this goofy pair of house slippers that keep falling off my feet when I go up or down stairs. The solution? I wear them on the wrong feet and Wa-la (How do you spell that?) they stay on. Another solution would be to buy new slippers.

Death is Not The Enemy

2009-01-04T07:34:00.002-07:00

There are a lot of people with serious problems that we all pray for everyday. I had this thought;
"Death is not the Enemy, losing Faith is."

Preparing for Ice on the roofs

2009-01-02T18:58:00.003-07:00

Ice dams are a real problem in that they cause water to backup and flow under shingles and then inside that house damaging the walls and paint. This is a real mess. But don't fret as DavieBoy has invented the answer to this dilema. You take a $20 "hammer chisel" that you buy from Home Depot and attach it to an airhose and compressor. This little tool is easy to use and fun. When applied to ice it just pulverizes it. My little grandkids were using one last year to break up the ice on my driveway. When used on a roof it destroys the ice and does nothing to the underlying shingles. This is fun and easy to use. Just don't fall off the ladder and break a leg. Call me for more testimonials and information.

Expanding The Blog

2009-01-01T19:25:00.003-07:00

I am going to expand my blog to include everything I think about everyday. Now many of you may think, "whoa, that's not possible!" But, I assure you that I am not thinking all that much. For example, What does a guy have to do around here to get some peanut butter!

How do normal people eat wheat bread? It is so dry with a capital "D". Do you have to dip it in warm water first to eat it? It's just a thought.

Why does a McDonald's chocolate shake and then a coke have such a negative reaction? Kinda like Mentos and Diet Coke only in your stomach.

I have exhausted all my thoughts on taco eating and messyness and I think the way to eat a taco without getting it all over you like Grandma did. Just cover it completely with the wax paper that they come in and roll it up like a cigar which will pretty much smash the crap out of it then tear the end of the paper off and push it up like one of those kids pushup popsicles. Just be sure to fold the other end so nothing goes out the wrong way.

To get a dog to stop jumping up on you all you have to do is lift your knees like you are marching and the dog will worry about hitting them and stay back. It only takes once. Also another way is to, jab just behind his front leg into his rib everytime he does it and after a while it will get a little sore and he will get the message. The dog is doing what it naturally thinks is a greeting so you have to pay more attention via petting so he will learn there is another way to say, "Hello."

To stop kids from climbing on the roofs of your sheds to slide off in the snow you say, "Wait until you have to buy one of your own." Then walk away as you can't stop those little monkeys from doing it and who cares anyway?

To soften leather gloves that have been wet, all you have to do is spray WD40 on them. Works instantly.

To make pens write after sitting for a long time is to use a lighter to heat the end for just a second and they will write perfectly.

Things you can't have enough of: Garbage cans-people will throw stuff away if it is convenient. Rugs to catch dirt and snow. Get the good ones and clean them at the carwash. It is unbelieveable how much dirt they can hold. Good dish towels and good bath towels and good wash clothes.

Brushing a horse will gentle it down as fast as anything. Get a good dense high quality brush not one of those cheap ones.

If you're looking for a bit to use, put it in your own mouth and feel the difference between real silver, copper and cheap silver. I'm not kidding here.

I think a good topic for a book about the scriptures would be to talk about the people that don't have names. Like the boy who had the fishes when Christ fed the 5,000. etc.

There is an incredible story to be told about the 22nd horse and the monument that stands in Sharon, VT., the birthplace of Joseph Smith. Briefly here and in full later. They were trying to haul this massive granite monolith to the designated spot and they got almost to the top but the mud and wet stopped them. They were using 21 horses to do it. They prayed and in the night the weather turned cold and froze the ground and they added a 22nd horse and they pulled the load up to it's final distination. Never think you're not needed as you might be that 22nd horse.

It's important to learn to enjoy working. Not only at your job but around your house. To always be busy making things better is truely and gift from God. Children need to know that work is essential to our salvation. It was given to Adam in the Garden of Eden when He said, "By the sweat of your brow......"

Teach kids to think before they start and teach them not to thing to long however. Just get it done. If it's wrong you'll know soon enough. If it has to be done over it's not that big of a deal.

Don't be afraid to cut down a tree that you planted if it is not growing like it should

You should trim for beauty and Prune for growth.

Choose your battles wisely. They use up valuable and non-renewable resources. Know when to walk away and when to keep your mouth shut. Ask yourself, "Am I saying this just so I can prove to them I am better or right?" If that's all then don't say it.

Festive things to do at this time of year

2008-12-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of fun things to do at Christmas time. Let's all add yours to mine and then email it to a 1,000 others and your fortune will change and Bill Gates will send you a personal check and I'll be an attorney by then. Here's one of my favorite things to do at this time of year. Now don't break the chain or you will get something stuck. Dave C. One thing I like to do at Christmas time is to walk toward the Salvation Army guy ringing the bell like I'm going to put money in and get right up to the red bucket and then shy away. They get their hopes up and then they say under their breath, that "dumb ass" It's dang funny. dc

Pinky Finger Tray Experiment

2008-12-17T22:15:00.003-07:00

I experimented with the Pinky Finger Tray (PFT) twice in the last two days and both times it turned out exactly like I predicted-no tarter sauce on my black shirt or my black pants. I risked it all wearing black but I wanted a good experiment. There was an added incident that happened however. As I was driving and eating my fishwich with my PFT a guy in the car next to me was trying to get my attention but I couldn't understand him. I kept shrugging my shoulders and mouthing the words, "What are you saying? I don't understand you." So I rolled my window down and he rolled his and he yelled, "Smart ass." I took that as a compiment as it was better than, "Dumb ass. " Anyway. It worked like a charm and I recommend it for people on the go or for a "man in motion" like myself.

Now Vicki wanted me to invent a method of eating a taco that isn't messy. Well I took Grandma, who is blind and mostly deaf to get a taco. She had an interesting method of eating them. She just tore it apart and picked whatever she could up with her fingers and dipped it in my salsa that I was using to eat my chips. I said, "Excuse me, but is my salsa getting on your taco?" She said, "No, it's taco sauce." Anyway, Vicki I have some work to do on this one as it's going to be a "bitch" to solve. I don't think grandma's method would work using only one hand and I think you have to be able to "see" to eat those things. More to follow. dc

KNow your Audience Observation/Invention

2008-12-13T16:50:00.003-07:00

So we play this incredible job at Smith Optics Friday-two jobs, for day and swing shift-and we learn a Santana song to meet the needs of the employees we feel will be there. The song is Oya Coma Va (or something like that.) We start it and I look out over the audience and see the faces of a hundred orientals with a look on their faces that says, "What dumb A** song is that?" They came up after and said, "We love you music. You are so good. Can you play anything we know?" Well, all I can say is, "Know your audience" or you'll look like a dumb a**.

New Observation

2008-12-10T18:27:00.005-07:00

This is like an invention because it's a new observation. Have you ever noticed that for every situation you have there is also a dumb ass trying to give you advice? The trick is to know who the dumb ass is. It's usually the one with tarter sauce on his shirt. (See Pinky Finger Tray Post below) dc

Dark Horse is Bustin' Free

2008-12-09T07:34:00.006-07:00

Dark Horse is chargin' around the corral and is ready to bust down the fences and run free into the west, leavin' a cloud of dust behind them. They'll be snortin' steam from their nostrils and sweat will be soakin' their hide. Sparks will be a crackelin' from their hooves as the throw their heads into the setting sun. I sure hope Jamie Hawkes is ready for this show at the ward Christmas party tonight!

Pinky Finger Tray

2008-12-04T23:19:00.006-07:00

This is a cool idea for people on the go. How do you eat a Fishwich without getting the tarter sauce on your pants or shirt while you drive? How do you eat it and drive at the same time and not spill? I took this challenge and here is the result: Take the little box that the pesky critter comes in and open it up so your little pinky finger of your left hand is in the fold when you open it out flat. Now hold the fishwich or sea burger in the remaining fingers of that same hand holding the sandwich inside the box. Now just eat away and the tarter sauce will spill into the box and not on your shirt and you won't look like a dumb ass eating a sandwich driving down the road. This is a great and practical invention for the modern man on the move. Have fun. Tonic Man

Christmas Tree Storage/Transport System

2008-12-01T19:38:00.002-07:00

Well people today I will invent a Christmas Tree Storage and Transportation System for the annual Christmas tree. Don't use this on a real tree and if you ask why turn off your computer and slowly back away as you could be dangerous.
Step 1. Find or create a large plastic covering for the entire tree.
Step 2. Open the bag and place the tree including the stand inside the bag.
Step 3. Bring the bag up around the tree and tie if off at the top. You can see why you need a large bag. They sell them at Target, etc.
Step 3. Get at large foldable bab big enough to place the base of the tree inside. I got mine at Walmart as they were made of green cheap plastic.
Step 4. Use masking tape or similar to wind around the tree and hold the plasici quite tight against the tree.
Step 5. Use small rope or heavy twine to make a loop at the top and tie it off then bring the rope down toward the bag securing the base and tie it all together. When you are done you will have a rope handle that is secured at the top and the bottom for one-man easy transporting and also storing. Works like a charm. Evidently a charm works pretty good.

2008-11-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Email conversation between dog handler (me) and dog trainer (Jamee Wheelwright)

carverdavidl@aol.com wrote:
Jamee, Sorry I had to run prior to attaching the pic of the dog we call affectionately as "brown dog." The three year old named her. The photos were taken November 2nd and she has grown half again this big. dc

-----Original Message-----From: Jamee at Wag-N-Train <wag_n_train@yahoo.com>
To: carverdavidl@aol.comSent: Sat, 22 Nov 2008 8:20 amSubject: Re: OHS 20 yr Class of '68 Photos
Oh....she IS a beauty!! Now let's see...Brown Dog...such a blase' name for such a beautiful girl...In French...brown down would be...chien marronIn Spanish...perro marrÃ³nIn German...brauner Hund (eeewww)In Portugese...cÃ£o marromIn Russian....ÐºÐ¾Ñ€Ð¸Ñ‡Ð½ÐµÐ²Ð°Ñ ÑÐ¾Ð±Ð°ÐºÐ° (ROTFLMAO) Yeah...try calling out THAT name to get her to come to you!!!I vote for the French version Chien...or a shortened version or Marron - Mara...or gee...just Roxy...as the picture caption says.This from a girl who named her cat Yikes! (including the excclamation point) *sigh*Have fun

Jamee

carverdavidl@aol.com wrote:
I am laughing my head off at you naming your cat, Yikes! That's dang funny. Those are great international names. Thank you for those suggestions. I guess "Brown Dog" is a little blah. How do you say that French one? Chow mein? Isn't that sorta oriental-like Chinese or Japanese? Wouldn’t that make the dog mean as she would be having to fight all the other dogs who were laughing at a dog whose name is a Japanese dinner? Also, wouldn’t that confuse her as she might be thinking you are saying what’s for dinner or something? Like every time she hears her name called she might think, “Oh, not again! We just had it and I don’t like it.” How do you know all those languages anyway? Is it because you haven't had electricity for a while and so you learned them instead of watching "American Idol" or "You say you can dance?"
I think you would pronounce the French name "Shee-en" I guess. What do I know? I took French at Washington Jr. High, but the only French sentence I can remember is "Where is the library?" I guess if I was lost in France (or parts of Canada), if I could get to a library, I could find out all I needed to know to get un-lost.I got the names by going to a free online translation site and typing in "brown dog". I use that sometimes to come up with names of the rescue dogs. After so many years, it gets hard coming up with something original. You can only name so many dogs Buster or Lady.Chow Mein would work, too. (LOL)Hey...even without electricity we watched TV. We had a 12-volt TV and a couple of car batteries hooked up to the generator. But you could only watch for so long before the battery went dead. And it had to be black and white. Color just drained it too dang fast. And if the battery went dead, then we'd have to fire up the generator to recharge the batteries. Oh, the things we did.....I LOVE my power!!!

Here is the formula for Dave's Tonic Elixir

2008-11-19T23:33:00.003-07:00

1 large glass of distilled water
Juice from 1/2 a lemon
1 tablespoon of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
1/3 Teaspoon of Concentrace minerals from Great Salt Lake
Stevia to sweeten to taste

Stir thoroughly

Drink first thing in the morning prior to having anything to eat at all
Drink another glass about 11:00
Drink another one about 3:00

This will take your appetite away. It is a cleanser so be careful. You may need to ease into the amount you take.

This is a very acid drink but it leaves an alkaline ash.
You'll feel like a million bucks.
Blood sugar will be leveled-no spikes.
Stomach will feel really good.
Skin will become shiny-really improves your skin.
Medicines will act much more effectively.
Cholesterol will be lowered.
Blood pressure will be lowered.
You won't want to drink a coke, eat a lot of sugary things or eat breads.
Be sure to exercise and take fish oil as a supplement.

Read up on an alkaline diet vs. an acid one.

INvention for today 11/11/08

2008-11-17T22:46:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking of a little generator that would store up energy as the animal walked around. For example for a dog, when he got home you could plug him in and a little light would come on that would light up the area he travels. If he got up to pee on the corner of your couch in the night you would be able to hit him with a shoe because of the little light he had tied to his head. Cool idea, huh? I call it the dog catcher light. dc

Adding events to the calendar

2008-11-16T22:08:00.001-07:00

Does anybody know how to add an event on this stupid calendar?

Garden tools invention

2008-11-16T17:28:00.002-07:00

Problem: keeping your shovels etc in a place that is easy to retreive them.Invention: This is an easy one. The invention takes a leaf from a golf bag. I'll bet some of you already know what I am going to say. Just get some large PVC pipe, cut it to fit inside and pack it together in a 50 gallon drum using wire to hold them straight and the put the implements in handles first and there you go.Invention names; Davie's handy tool caddies

Inventions and Elixirs, The Beginning

2008-11-16T16:53:00.005-07:00

I always wanted to find a website that had inventions and elixirs on it and when I searched I could never find one. Well, I have always wanted one since yesterday when Kelli made this site for me. I love to invent and sometimes I'll spend more time inventin' than fixing the project that I want to fix with an invention. I want to invent 3 inventions a day. I'll put them on this Blog if I can remember them long enough to post them. I'll talk about Elixirs later as now I'm "inventin'." You as me a question that needs an answer and I'll invent something if there isn't an answer already. Now if you're slow at running into a problem then I'll invent something anyway until the problem comes up. Here goes.............

Tonic Man!!

2008-11-15T19:28:00.003-07:00

Tonic Man is on the Web. Inventions and Elixirs coming to you soon!!!